WHAT TO TELL YOUR COWORKERS WHEN YOU GET PLASTIC SURGERY

In today’s society, there seems to be less of a stigma regarding plastic surgery. There’s an endless stream of famous and not famous people posting the results from their plastic surgery online, and people are loving it. While some individuals may be excited to join the ranks of those electing to have some type of plastic surgery done to enhance their appearance, there are still some patients that wish to keep their procedures under wraps.  Triple Board-Certified, Dr. David E. Berman shares advice on what to say to coworkers when you want to avoid going into personal details about your impending surgery. 

There are two time periods that a patient needs to consider when conjuring up a story about their surgery. The first is the time you will need to take off from work in order to undergo the surgery and recover. The second concern is your initial return to work when you may look slightly (or more than slightly) different than when you had left. 

The easiest way to avoid telling a lie without telling the truth is to hope that no one even notices that you had plastic surgery. You may not need to give any excuse as to why you are taking off from work and it is possible that upon your return, no one will even bother to look up from their desks long enough to realize that anything looks different. This may be easier than you think, because although you assume that every coworker notices every and any detail in your appearance, the reality is that most people are so busy worrying about how they are perceived, that they have little time to think about anyone but themselves! 

THE TIME AWAY FROM WORK

Recovery in general has vastly improved in regards to plastic surgery. Patients are encouraged to get up and start walking somewhat after every procedure. Assuming you work in an office or your job is not very physical you will be able to return to work quite soon after your surgery. For some procedures, such as Smartlipo, allow you to return to work the very next day. You can return to work after a labiaplasty after only 3-4 days. You can have breast augmentation surgery on a Thursday and return to the office by Monday. After gynecomastia, breast reduction, mini facelift and a tummy tuck, patients will return between 6-10 days after surgery (usually closer to 6 days). After a blepharoplasty, you can return to work after 3 days. If you do have a very physical job, your time off from work may vary slightly. 

So what should you tell your coworkers to explain why you are taking off from work, if you do not want to share the truth? Here are some options:

1. Personal time off for me
2. You can tell them your mother-in-law is visiting.  This may help explain any bruising on your face or body upon your return. 
3. You are doing a personal fitness challenge that you don’t want to share. Helps explain your better fitting jeans after you return to work. 
4. You are a secret agent going on a mission but they cannot tell anyone. Of course, once you tell one person, everyone in the office will be told, saving you the trouble of having to give this excuse to anyone else. 
5. Somebody very rich and famous needs you but you cannot disclose any details. In addition, this means you are not absolutely certain which day you will return to work. 
6. You can say you are having a surgery, but they are optimistic it will not be cancer. 
7. Explain, prior to working at this company, you used to be an astrophysicist and you are taking a few days off to see if you can teleport yourself back in time. 

WHAT TO TELL THEM WHEN YOU RETURN TO WORK?

Of course, the excuses will vary depending on whether you have surgery on your face, ears, neck or eyelids versus a part of your body that will be hidden from view. 

Here is a list of great excuses that may explain sutures in your face, and maybe some bruising or swelling:

1. The famous “if you think I don’t look great, you should see the other guy (or woman).”
2. Playing off the mother-in-law theme, you can now add: “now you see why I hate it when she visits.”
3. Personal fitness. “As I was climbing up a phone pole with just my hands, I slipped off and got these crazy symmetrical cuts on my upper eyelids (or around my ears for a facelift)”
4. Playing off the secret agent theme, you can now add: “While I was a secret agent, I was taken hostage and they forced me to undergo plastic surgery without anesthetic. It was brutal but somehow after surgery, I managed to escape, despite being handcuffed to the bed.”
5. You can say you were helping someone very rich and famous, and they insisted that you have plastic surgery before them, so that they could make sure it was safe. Of course, they paid for everything. 
6. If you told anyone you were having surgery but were vague about the details, you can tell them “Thank G-d, no cancer was found, but please don’t ask for any personal details.”
7. Once you return from your “time travel” as an astrophysicist, you may want to explain to your coworkers that it was better to do cosmetic procedures in your 30’s but when you were transported back to this time period, mysteriously, you still have sutures that need to be removed.  

Have any cute stories about the time you had a procedure done and didn’t want to tell your coworkers about it? Share it with us 

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